Here is a copy of the speech I gave at Barry & Erliza's wedding. I was his best man.
A wise man once told me that the Best Man’s speech should last as long as the Groom makes love… Thank you Ladies and Gentlemen.
[I sit down, briefly]
When Barry asked me to be his best man, I was over the moon. Firstly that he was going to marry the woman that he loves, and secondly that he had asked me to be his best man. A few drinks later, it dawned on me. The speech. Choking on my beer at the realisation that I would have to stand up and talk in front of his family and closest friends, I started shaking and told him that I didn't think that I could do it. Reassuring me, he said, "all you've got to do is stand up, look like an idiot, tell a few jokes and be confident." Taking his advice, here I am.
I have known Barry for many years now. I know all his little habits and how loving he can become after a few drinks, just a little warning to you all here! Barry has helped me through some hard times over the duration of our friendship. He has always been there and supported me, something that I know he will do for his beautiful wife, Erliza.
Barry, take Erliza's hand and place your hand over hers... Good. Now, remember this moment and cherish it... because this will be the last time you'll ever have the upper hand!"
Even though Barry asked me to keep the stories about him clean, and to try not to embarrass him too much, I must admit that I sat for many hours trying to think of embarrassing stories. At the end of the day, this was a fruitless exercise. I can't recall a situation I've been in with him where we felt embarrassed. A marvellous quality about Barry is his ability to take control of and turn any situation into a humorous (if not debauched) affair! So, instead of telling you a story, I’d like to share a bit of trivia with you.
Fleming was a poor Scottish farmer. One day at work in a field he heard a cry for help. Following the sound, Fleming came to a deep bog, in which a boy was stuck up to his chest, screaming and sinking. Farmer Fleming tied a rope around his own waist and the other end to a tree, and waded into the bog. After a mighty struggle in which it seemed they would both perish, the exhausted farmer pulled himself and the boy to safety. He took the lad back to the farmhouse, where Mrs Fleming fed him, dried his clothes, and when satisfied he had recovered, sent him on his way home.
The next day a carriage arrived at the Fleming's humble farmhouse. A well-dressed man stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy whom Fleming had saved. "You saved my son's life," said the man to Fleming, "How can I repay you?"
"I don't want payment," Fleming replied, "Anyone would have done the same."
At that moment, Fleming's own young son appeared at the farmhouse door.
"Is he your son?" the man asked.
"Yes," said Fleming proudly.
"I have an idea. Let me pay for his education. If he's like his father, he'll grow to be a man we'll both be proud of."
And so he did. The farmer's son attended the very best schools, graduated medical college, and later became the world-renowned Nobel prize-winning scientist and discoverer of penicillin, Sir Alexander Fleming.
It is said that many years later, the grown man who'd been saved from the bog as a boy, was stricken with pneumonia.
Penicillin saved his life. His name? Sir Winston Churchill.
Barry & Erliza are two of the most loving and caring people I know. Both of them would help others in a heartbeat, without hesitation, without thought of compensation. My wish for them is that every act of unselfish kindness is returned to them tenfold.
Incidentally, today would have been Sir Winston Churchill’s 133rd birthday.
Finally, I’d like to say a few thank-you’s.
- Firstly to you, for joining the newly married couple in their celebrations.
- To the bridesmaids: You have done a fantastic job helping Erliza and you look lovely.
- To Grant, for your help when it came to arranging things. At a time when I was flooded with commitments you were there, pulling it all together. The bachelor’s was a hit, thanks to you!
- To Johan & Erminia on raising a most beautiful & loving daughter, and instilling in her a set of values that could only make any parent proud.
- To Vanessa (Or Vinnie, as she is endearingly known to those who were present at the bachelors!): You have raised a son that I am proud to call my friend. It is an honour to have been chosen as his best man.
- Erliza: The amount of work, planning & dedication I’ve seen from you is truly astounding. This beautiful day is testament to that.
- Barry: What more could a guy ask for other than to see his best friend blessed with true happiness.
- Last, but not least, to Luke. Thank you for helping out on such short notice. You’ve saved me (and the newly-weds) many grey hairs!
Ladies and Gentlemen, please all join me in a toast.
May you be friends to each other as only lovers can; and may you love each other as only best friends can. - To Barry and Erliza!
